Tomorrow is John’s and my twenty sixth marriage ceremony anniversary, and earlier than you ask, sure, we DID get married as toddlers. We wore onesies and tottered down the aisle to the theme from Muppet Infants. It was superior.
Anyhoo, I do know what you are considering. “Jim,” you are considering, – since you’ve once more mistaken me for a starship captain with a penchant for pauses – “Jim, how can *I* be married for 26 blissful years?”
Ahhhh, SAY NO MORE. I do the speaking round right here.
Oh, and John says I’ve to make use of a bunch of those older submissions from the archives, however don’t fret; I could make something work with my stellar marriage recommendation. SO BRING IT, JOHN.
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #1:
Um, do not… radiate… one another. As an alternative, BE RADIANT.
(booya oh yeah i received this)
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #2:
Hold one another as completely satisfied as a pig in poo.
After which steer clear of bees.
(Which is admittedly extra of a life tip, in order that’s a bonus for you single people.)
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #3:
[….]
[pin dropping]
[…]
Subsequent!
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #4:
Every bit of clothes ever makes her look the sexiest she has ever seemed. Interval.
And that goes double for the marriage gown.
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #5
When the haircut goes fallacious, stick a hat on it and purchase them cake.
And while you by accident run over the pet snake…
…stick a hat on it and purchase them cake.
(Your partner, I imply, not the snake. I am fairly certain the snake will not look after cake at this level.)
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #6:
Be their rock:
…with spontaneous wrastlin’ matches.
(MROWR)
And eventually,
MARRIAGE PRO TIP #7:
Give them what they need, and many it.
By which I imply cake.
MOAR CAKE PLS JOHN.
Because of Julie G., KK, Becca H., Samantha B., Ellen W., Mark H., & Diana A. for the excuse to share all these pearls of knowledge. LOOK AT ALL MY PEARLS Y’ALL.
And a particular due to john, the hubby of me, for nonetheless being right here after 26 years of poo puns and calls for for whoopie… pies. I really like you, Sweetness. Here is to many multiples of 26 extra.
*****
P.S. You probably have an anniversary arising your self, and a major different who loves true crime or only a twisted humorousness, then I’ve simply the cardboard for you:
*****
And from my different weblog, Epbot:
